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Some answers, and what you can do about it, follow.
++ You Fell Into It ++
You've had the same type of job from day one and all that may have
changed is the company you work for or your job title.
At one stage you had great dreams of what you aspired to be. Standing in
front of the mirror singing into a hairbrush
experiencing the bliss of being a pop star. Running through the backyard
with a hose fighting imaginary fires. Peering through a microscope's
lens intrigued by the cells moving before you.
In youth we're often clear what we want to be when we grow up. But then
something happens, some would say life, others would say bad luck or
even reality.
Basically it's the gap between what you dreamed of and the work you're
currently doing that causes dissatisfaction.
++ You Feel Stuck and Don't Have a Choice ++
You have a mortgage, kids to feed, not enough education or no time.
So you've chosen a job that reflects your circumstances. You're
basically trading time for money to pay for a life you're not thoroughly
enjoying.
++ You're Numb ++
You get up, go to the bathroom, have a shower, eat breakfast, get
dressed, walk to the bus stop, arrive at work, work, eat lunch, work
some more, come home, eat dinner and go to bed. REPEAT. Sure, our lives
are busier and more colorful than that, but essentially these steps are
present each weekday.
You exist in an unconsciously competent state, similar to driving a car
where you get from A to B without thinking about it. Same thing with
work, you're going through motions.
You know something 'just ain't right' but you don't know what it is, and
even if you did, you wouldn't know how to get out of it.
There are a plethora of reasons: your job is your identity, you're
continually looking for the 'perfect' role, society made you do it, or
in some cases, your parents.
There are a plethora of reason but all you know is that when it comes to
your career you may feel stuck in a chasm, in the abyss, between a rock
and hard place. The great thing is, if you look up, you see a glimmer of
light and that's called possibility. You can make a change, a choice to
do something differently in your life, escape the 'stuck-ness' and seek
fulfilment.
It may seem overwhelming, a task too big to even consider, but don't
forget the adage.
"How do you eat an elephant?"
"One bite at a time."
Apply the same approach to seeking a fulfilling work life and discover
how you can 'Escape the CHASM(tm)'.
** Create Choice & Change **
What can you do when you don't have much choice? Well the fact that
you're doing nothing is a choice in itself. If you want your life to
change you have to 'do' something about it, they can be large or small
choices, but they are essential.
A few months a go I worked in marketing consulting. One day I asked my
husband, "Why are we both working like crazy so we can live in an
apartment we never see and create a life of things we never enjoy?"
A month later I quit that job and went into 'retirement'. I decided that
I was going to do something different for once in my life – nothing.
How could I afford to do that you may ask? I wanted to make a change so
I had to make some choices.
Firstly, we decided to sell our investment property which pretty
much got rid of our major debt and reduced our mortgage to a very
manageable $600 a month. We also decided to move into a house after
paying a crippling $52,000 special levy the year before on our condo.
Instead of staying in the suburb we currently lived in where we would
have to get another huge mortgage, we opened our minds to the
possibility of a different area where we could buy
something for cash. I also decided that I had enough shoes, handbags,
clothes and other material things for the time being so I stopped the
shopping addiction that often kept me caught in the trap of: I don't
like my work, I'll buy something to cheer me up, now I have to work to
pay for what I bought. All these things were huge changes for me and at
times I was uncomfortable.
Months later I was speaking to a motivational consultant on the
topic of choice and change and I reflected, "When I made the choice to
opt-out of the corporate world to create a life I experienced, instead
of just watched, I thought I was making a sacrifice. But you know what,
when you're on the other side of it, there really is no sacrifice, just
decisions which create circumstances that make you happy or unhappy."
In that moment I realised, that at the time, I thought I was giving
up a lot, in reality, I had lost nothing and gained more than I could
have imagined.
I spent more time with my husband and pets, I got to see the sun during
the day instead of starting and ending my day in darkness, I created
time to do the things I always put off like walks on the beach or
reading in bed.
So the choice to change doesn't have to be a scary one, on the contrary,
it can be very freeing.
** Create Happiness **
Follow your glee. That's easier said than done. My friend Jo once said,
"I don' even know what makes me happy anymore because I spend so much
time making sure everybody else is."
Do you remember what makes you happy?
Think back to experiences that made you smile, laugh out loud, proud or
warmed your heart. What were you doing and what choices are you going to
make to reclaim your happiness.
** Have the Right Attitude **
When graphic designer Bev Bradnick was asked how she started doing the
job she now loves she said, "I changed my attitude. I also chose to
start doing things I really enjoyed but never thought I had the time to
do. Finding the time to do them really enabled me to become more
creative, less stressed out and more fulfilled which in turn affected my
working relationships."
Attitude was key to Bev's success. Consider this, if you wake up
thinking, "Great it's Tuesday, I've got to go to work." You're not
really starting the day off with an, "I'm going to have a great day"
attitude. And how you start the day is often how you end it as it's
challenging to break the cycle once you're in it. So make the choice to
create the right attitude.
** Just Start **
To be happier in your work life you need to start doing things
differently. If you don't, you're practicing the definition of insanity
– doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different
result.
It might be worthwhile to start changing your attitude towards your
job like Bev did. Instead if thinking, "Oh no" when the alarm goes off
consider, "I'm going to make the best of this day". It's a small change,
but it's a start!
What else can you start doing? Look on the Internet for a new position
or course to add to your skills. Start thinking about what you really
enjoy doing and explore how you can turn that into paid work (it can
even be part-time).
Maybe you can start clearing some of the circumstances in your life that
keep you stuck: do the children really have to go to private school, do
you need the latest model car? Keeping up with the Jones is what keeps
us suffering.
I remember when I was in jobs I loathed I always felt better when I
started applying for other positions. It felt good to do something other
than just moan about it.
** Motivate and Keep Moving **
Once you decide to make a positive change in your job it's important to
motivate yourself along the journey.
It's like exercise; you have to consistently put in the effort to
achieve the desired result. You also need to up the ante from time to
time so your fitness doesn't plateau but continues to move you towards
your goals.
Perhaps you've decided the company you're currently in isn't for you and
are looking for a new job. If you go for a few interviews and nothing
becomes of it you have to remind yourself why you're doing what you're
doing in order to keep yourself motivated.
After 12 job interviews Samantha was becoming discouraged, "I
was over the whole process: searching for work, sending resumes, going
to meet people and then nothing happening. Then I thought about why I
was looking for another job and it was because I was in a position where
I was no longer learning anything and I felt my skills weren't being
appreciated. I used that to motivate me."
In the end Samantha landed her dream job. "I believe everything is for a
reason and the fact that I didn't get those other roles was because
there was a more fulfilling job waiting for me – and I got it!"
Remember, there's inspiration in doing something you love, or even
enjoying the process of getting there, and you probably don't realise it
but you're positively affecting others along the way.
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Belinda Crosbie is creating an inspiration epidemic. Her website
http://www.lifebydesire.com encourages people to abandon the rat
race and pursue a motivating and fulfilling life. 'Escape the
CHASM (TM)' is an initiative that invites you to ask probing questions
and make choices with clear intent to create a rewarding and meaningful
life. To find out more, subscribe to a FREE newsletter
http://www.lifebydesire.com/subscribe.htm .
Belinda holds a Bachelor degree in Psychology, Masters of Commerce in
Marketing and a Higher Diploma of Advanced Freelance Journalism. She has
been a business consultant and mentor for over 17 years.
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